Thursday 12 March 2015

Sale! Legally Undead (Vampirachy #1) by Margot Bond Collins | #sale #99cents #vampire #fantasy


Legally Undead quote sale
  
A reluctant vampire hunter, stalking New York City as only a scorned bride can.
Elle Dupree has her life all figured out: first a wedding, then her Ph.D., then swank faculty parties where she’ll serve wine and cheese and introduce people to her husband the lawyer.

But those plans disintegrate when she walks in on a vampire draining the blood from her fiancé Greg. Horrified, she screams and runs--not away from the vampire, but toward it, brandishing a wooden letter opener.

As she slams the improvised stake into the vampire’s heart, a team of black-clad men bursts into the apartment. Turning around to face them, Elle discovers that Greg’s body is gone—and her perfect life falls apart.

  
Legally Undead, by Margo Bond Collins, World Weaver Press
A Top-10 Preditors and Editors Readers' Poll Best Science Fiction and Fantasy Novel
Legally Undead - #10 Science Fiction and Fantasy

Excerpt
The worst thing about vampires is
that they're dead. That whole wanting to suck your blood business runs a close
second, but for sheer creepiness, it's the dead bit that gets me every time.
They're up and walking around and talking and sucking blood, but they're dead.
And then there's the whole terminology problem--how can you kill something
that's already dead? It's just wrong.

I was twenty-four the first time I .... destroyed? dispatched? . . . a vampire. That's when I found out that allthe books and movies are wrong. When you stick a wooden stake into their hearts, vampires don't disintegrate into dust. They don't explode. They don't spew blood everywhere. They just look surprised, groan, and collapse into a pile of corpse. But at least they lie still then, like corpses are supposed to.
  
Since that first kill (I might as well use the word--there really isn’t a better one), I've discovered that only if you're lucky do vampires look surprised before they groan and fall down. If you're unlucky and miss the heart, they look angry. And then they fight.

There are the other usual ways to kill vampires, of course, but these other ways can get a bit complicated.

Vampires are notoriously difficult to trick into sunlight. They have an uncanny
ability to sense when there's any sunlight within miles of them, and they're
awfully good at hiding from it. Holy water doesn't kill them; it just distracts
them for a while, and then they get that angry look again. And it takes a
pretty big blade to cut off someone's head--even an already dead someone--and
carrying a great big knife around New York City, even the Bronx, is a sure way
to get arrested. Nope, pointy sticks are the best way to go, all the way
around.


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